Just A Moment of Weakness

a shitty couple of days has been had by me - it's finally become glaringly obvious to me that working from home for 7 years and moving to a place where i only really know 1 person has actually been extremely detrimental to parts of my existence. and then being fired a few critical months before i was planning to quit, my job going overseas & to computers, collecting unemployment, half-assing and doing the bare minimum to meet the job search requirements because i've got more important things to focus on than money (even though i am the breadwinner) - but finding it hard to half-ass, only applying for jobs i could see myself doing and then (of course) getting turned down (48 times already) since i still haven't perfected my resume, and, oh god, so awkward talking to people, especially females, especially attempting to help the one who just had a baby, and trying to be there for her, but... i'm... just... so... awkward.... trying to pretend that i'm perfectly fine, asking her about what she's planning career-wise, of course she's a college graduate and (before she went to albania for the peace corps) she was some sort of epic official wetlands research conservationist person, and she wants to go back to school to get moar epic certifications for that, and i have never felt so poor and uneducated - even though i'm determined to prove money and formal education are unnecessary and often interfere with real progress, but feeling like my attempts to make progress in any form are in vain... questioning my value...



--
Errybody please visit wabisabiweddingday.blogspot.com :D kthx

--

btw this counts as music monday, even though the song i referenced in the title is not even in this post at all XD

--

also btw this is my first post made at a bar. (why is there a fire truck here? o_O)

--

btw btw i've been inspired by Maximus Black and his playthrough of I Wanna Be The Guy. Kinda wanna do something similar. Thoughts? Game ideas? What programs should I use to set that sheet up?

--

btwww also thinking of being a huge faggot and recording myself singing. >_< Not that I think I'm a good singer or anything, just want to learn how to be a "vessel" (in the way that Saul Williams mentions in SlamNation)  and be alright with haters, lol

--