*SOC= Stream of Consciousness
Supposed to be working on my 3 job searches for unemployment - I was, but somehow I ended up here. So I thought, "Hey, why not make a blog post."
So are thoughts supposed to be in quotes?
Kinda feel like this blog is crappy... sorry bout that. Maybe it's just one of those days, and my blog is just fine. Haven't been giving my all to it though - it's been so frustrating. The blog's not frustrating; it's the "not giving my all" part that's frustrating.
I'm getting better at at least pushing through and finishing things that I'm not giving my all on though. And that might be an important thing. Maybe. It's not feeling right though. Maybe it's just because it's outside of my comfort zone.
I mean, which is better?
-Staring something with gusto and then losing motivation and not finishing? Finished projects all over the place?
-Or starting something that you know is good and just pushing through the loss of motivation- getting through the mucky part - and then really having something awesome at the end?
And if the second is the better one, should I really be showing the public my boring rants like this? I mean, it kind of seems uninteresting and not for the greater good?
Another question: Is showing this "weakness" something helpful to other people - so they don't just see the top 10% of the world and don't compare themselves to the top 10% - because I mean there's a 90% chance that you're not in the top 10%, and if you are in the top 10%, you're not in the top 10% in every life category. So don't worry if you suck at some things. Maybe being persistent at a sucky idea will be enough to turn it into something good. Pandora was rejected over 300 times by the VCs before getting funding. And I don't know who the VCs are, or what VC even stands for. lol
Is it okay to suck at things occasionally? Or if you're sucking, should you just give up and hide it under the rug?
On that note, back to unemployment. Gotta do my 3 weekly applications. Hard to get the motivation to do so because I really don't want to work. But I want unemployment benefits.
Well, I do sort of want to work. Just in an awesome place. Sounds like it might be nice to be out of the home. But scary. Maybe some extreme part-time. Think I'm supposed to be searching for full-time employment though. Damn. Money. It sucks. Wanna get away from it, but shit, I wasn't ready yet.
Lost my job last month... don't really have the 3 months' worth of earnings saved up like I'd have liked. Don't really have emergency money. Didn't get a house bought first. So it doesn't feel good. Not in my comfort zone again.
Not that $800/month for a family of 4 can't be done. Not that we have to be depressed about making more money than millions of people on the earth. Seriously, how many people on this earth make the equivalent of 800 US dollars and up? Let's see if we can find a map.
Here is a list of countries by percentage of population living in poverty - poverty being defined as less than $2 per person per day. Our family of 4 living on $800/month leaves about $6 per person, three times the international poverty line - and that's not even counting our increased $600/month in food stamps and random income we get from computer repair and odd jobs. And America and other rich countries think it's so impossible and bad, lol We have increasingly been of the belief that life under the poverty line is actually more enjoyable, because you are less worried about getting paid and more worried about just living life. However, our greedy lifestyle has actually been raping underdeveloped countries of their natural habitat, making it virtually impossible to live without money, because fucking food can't even grow there anymore because we destroy the land and take all the water. WTF.
Right. Onto the unemployment stuff.