Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Fucking Recipes - Chocolate Burrito

Alright, faggots. It's time to learn how to make a motherfucking chocolate burrito. "Why the fuck would I want a chocolate burrito," you ask?  Because it's fucking delicious, that's why.





If you don't already have these ingredients, you suck at life.
-tortillias
-peanut butter
-dark chocolate chips (milk chocolate is for pussies)
-marshmallows
-a bag of cocaine


STEP ONE


Slather some peanut butter on that bitch


STEP TWO


Sprinkle chocolate and marshmallows on ONE SIDE, motherfucker. How the fuck do you expect to roll it up if you have shit all over the place?! It would be a goddamn mess and that would be a goddamn shame. This is a chocolate burrito, not a pile of shit.



You didn't really think that was a bag of cocaine, did you, you ignorant cunt? It's fucking coconut. You don't want coconut on your chocolate burrito? Don't fucking put it there -- didn't you notice it's not even in the ingredients. Shit. I knew you were an ignorant cunt.


STEP THREE


Roll that shit up


STEP FOUR


Microwave for 15-30 seconds. Did you pawn your microwave to get money for hookers? Something is seriously wrong with you. But it doesn't matter, just put it in the oven. Leave it in the sun for a while, shit, I don't care. Just melt the fucking marshmallows.


STEP FIVE


Practice giving blowjobs. This step is critical.


YOUR CHOCOLATE BURRITO IS NOW COMPLETE


Eat it. Maybe practice blowjobs on it. Maybe wrap it up for lunch. Maybe throw it at your neighbor's car. Maybe use it as bait.

What else can you do with a chocolate burrito?

3 comments:

  1. DO WANT!! Peanutbutter makes everything delicious. Even aids.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This seems like a really fun idea! Thanks for sharing! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. diabetic coma, here i come

    ReplyDelete